Season 2
Episode 01 - Human Traffic
Hetty: We were beginning to think you were dead.
Deeks: Not yet... maybe tomorrow.
Episode 03 - Borderline
Callen: I'm all for going green, reducing our footprints, but if Hetty has her way we're going to be reusing our bullets
Sam: She just wants us to recover our brass, if possible.
Callen: Reusable water bottles, no more paper towels, no more paper cups, what's next to go?
Sam: Saving the planet, G.
Callen: Don't come whining to me when she replaces our toilet paper with used post its.
Callen: What's the safe word?
Sam: Headlock.
Callen: Really? Use headlock in a sentence.
Sam: I wasn't planning on using it.
Episode 06 - Stand-off
Kensi: Dead guy Deeks.
Deeks: Now you see that wasn't funny.
Kensi: Not you idiot, dead guy.
Deeks: Oh yeah, dead guy... Well dressed dead guy.
Episode 09 - Absolution
[Guns are drawn]
French Intelligence Operative: Federal agents! Don't move!
Deeks: LAPD!
French Intell... Op...: NSA!
Kensi: NCIS!
Deeks: M O U S E!
Episode 11 - Disorder
Callen: Dare I ask what we did to deserve this, Hetty?
Hetty: Rest assured, Mr. Callen, I never give gifts unless they perfectly suit the recipients.
Callen: And perfection struck four times today?
Hetty: Happy Holidays everyone!
Kensi: Hetty's never given us anything for Christmas before. Why this year?
Callen: Exactly.
Deeks: Because she knows I like surprises.
Sam: You guys ever feel like we're stuck babysitting some kid whose parents won't come to get him - ever?
Episode 12 - Overwatch
Callen: So why do you steal a dead body?
Kensi: Proof of death.
Sam: Satanic ritual.
Deeks: Cannibalism.
Episode 15 - Tin Soldiers
Sam: Besides you don't look like a cop.
Deeks: All this [gestures at his face] is so I can go undercover.
Sam: As what? Shaggy from Scooby-doo?
Episode 16 - Empty Quiver
Kensi: Oh hey, guys! What did Eric do with the video?
Sam: He shut down the Internet.
Kensi: What... the whole Internet?
Sam: [matter-of-fact] Yeah.
Deeks: Even Twitter!?
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