NCIS/NCIS: Los Angeles Pilot Crossover
Legend: Part 1
Callen: Is there a reason we're not meeting in a bar right now?
Gibbs: Well yeah, it's 10 o'clock in the morning.
Callen: I don't know what's worse: getting older or getting wiser.
Legend: Part 2
Eric: Every phone call, credit card transaction, internet search, all swallowed up and stored on hard drives so people can troll them for personal information.
McGee: You mean like we're doing now?
Eric: Yeah, that's okay cause we work for the government. Got a National Security letter to prove it.
Season 1
Episode 01 - Identity
Callen: In the three years we known each other, you've never called me "G".
Hetty: It's not a name, it's a letter.
Episode 02 - The Only Easy Day
(Hetty finds Dom aggressively punching a bag)
Hetty: What is the matter with you men?
Dom: Sorry, I was just letting off a little steam.
Hetty: Like the little engine that could. I know you lost a target, big deal… it happens… get over it!
Dom: So, you heard about that.
Hetty: Of course, I heard about it, I know what you ate for breakfast, Sweetie.
Sam: SEALs work together as a team. Holgate had the tendency to act like a lone wolf, if you know what I'm talking about.
Callen: Actually, half the time I don't know what you're talking about. And the rest of the time, I just disagree.
Episode 03 - Predator
Kensi: I'm the best first date girl in town, I mean I bring my A game; funny, flirty, charismatic, tasteful.
Sam: Like me.
Callen: And the second?
Kensi: The second date, antsy, bored, distant, impatient, irritable.
Sam: Like G.
Episode 04 - Search and Destroy
Callen: (About an origami figure Sam made.) Is that a frog?
Sam: Its a swan.
Callen: From where, Chernobyl?
Episode 05 - Killshot
(Callen, Sam and Jimmy dive for cover behind a car as an assassin fires at them.)
Sam: You want to peak your head over and take a look?
Callen: I'm good.
Episode 06 - Keepin' It Real
Hetty: Take her out to dinner. After the case is over.
Callen: Agent Giordano?
Hetty: Hmm and take Sam the next night, you know how he gets.
Episode 07 - Pushback
Sam: You got a plan?
Callen: Yeah, How about we kick in his door and ask him why he is the only one of us that didn't get shot?
Sam: I've used that one before. It's a very effective plan.
Episode 08 - Ambush
(Hetty's on the speakerphone, briefing the team when Callen puts the phone on mute.)
Callen: Am I the only one who thinks this is weird?
Eric: Oh, yeah, we all think it's weird
Callen: Just checkin'. (un-mutes phone)
Hetty: I heard that Mr. Callen.
Vance: (greeting Hetty) Welcome to DC, Henrietta.
Hetty: Director Vance, door-to-door service, how out of character.
Vance: Well people can change and I owe you one, big time.
Hetty: You do, especially for forcing me to leave the children in charge.
Vance: How much trouble can they get into in eight hours?
(Phone rings, Eric answers.)
Eric: This is Eric.
Hetty: It's good to hear you still know who you are.
Eric: Ah, Hetty, you having a good time in Washington?
Hetty: The last person to have a good time in Washington was General Jubal Early in 1864, he was attacking it at the time.
Episode 09 - Random on Purpose
(Callen walks in, sees the office has been re-organized, stands and stares.)
Sam: Morning, G. (Notices the office.) When did that happen?
Callen: Don't know.
Kensi: Morning, guys. (Notices the office.) Whoa, who did this?
Callen: Don't know.
Kensi: Where's our stuff?
Callen: Don't know.
Sam: Think it's safe to go in?
Callen: Don't know.
(...)
Kensi: Could be one of Nate's psych experiments.
Sam: I'm not one of Nate's lab rats.
Episode 10 - Brimstone
(Nate approaches Sam who is working on a bomb at his desk.)
Nate: Wow, um... Shouldn't you be working on that somewhere a little more secure?
Sam: Like where?
Nate: Uh, I don't know a room with armor-plated walls comes to mind.
Sam: Lights good in here.
Nate: I will buy you a lamp.
Sam: King said it was defused. He seemed to know what he was doing.
Nate: The million dollar question is do you know what you're doing?
Episode 11 - Breach
(Hetty has just told the team that they have to back off the case-immediately.)
Callen: We're putting together a good case here, a big one.
Sam: Hetty, Zafari's up to something, we can't stop now.
Hetty: This is coming from "on high". When I say "on high", I mean those with the political venom to end the careers of each and every one of us, including Director Vance.
Kensi: I can't believe this, all we need is a little more time.
Hetty: I know, I know. If I may slip into the vernacular, "It Sucks". But when you hear from again in an hour or so, you will shut this down
Episode 12 - Past Lives
Dom: How about Disneyland?
Kensi: I hate Disneyland.
(Sam walks in.)
Callen: Kensi hates Disneyland.
Sam: The happiest place on earth.
Kensi: I have issues with grown men in furry costumes.
Episode 13 - Missing
(Kensi hands Ty the camera from Dom's car.)
Kensi: Ty, could you look at this?
Ty: Aw, poor little fellow. Who'd want to shoot you?
Kensi: You talk to your computer parts?
Ty: Do you talk to your plants when you water 'em?
Kensi: Just my orchids, but they can be tricky.
Episdoe 14 - LD 50
Callen (To Hetty): Sam Sees the glass as half full. I see it as half empty; that's why we make a good team. Kensi on the other hand just drinks right out of the bottle, Nate wonders why it has to be glass, and Eric usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table.
Callen: Sam doesn't play well with others and he doesn't like to share his toys.
Episode 16 - Chinatown
Sam: You don't have a TV, you don't read the newspaper, you clearly don't spend any time getting ready.
Callen: Maybe I was working out.
Sam: Huh, you don't work out.
Callen: I run.
Sam: Yeah, when people are shooting at us!
Callen: You know what? I slept in.
Sam: With who? You barely sleep.
Callen: There's nobody.
Sam: Come on, I think it would be great for you to be in a relationship.
Callen: Sam, how many times do we have this conversation- you're my partner not my mother.
Sam: (makes a womans voice) I just want you to be happy and find a good girl.
Episode 17 - Full Throttle
Mr. Loobertz: We put the "cool" in school.
Callen: Wouldn't that be "chool"?
Mr. Loobertz: The "h" is silent.
Callen: [quietly to himself] I'm in Ell*.
(*Hell)
Episode 18 - Blood Brothers
Hetty: Go with God, Mister Callen or whoever it is who watches over you.
Callen: I have a guardian angel. She's tiny, but very tough.
Episode 19 - Hand to Hand
(Hetty asks Deeks to be the liaison between NCIS and LAPD and hands him a file)
Deeks: Hmm...Who are you guys?...I mean…I mean...H-how did you get all this information?..I mean the only thing missing here is…..
(She hands him a pen)
Hetty: No need to date it.
Episode 20 - Fame
(Kensi and Deeks talking through their earpieces)
Deeks: I'm gonna call you Fern, okay?
Kensi: Don't you DARE call me Fern!
(Deeks walking toward Kensi)
Deeks: Fern! Baby girl!
Episode 23 - Burned
Hetty: Oh, Mr. Callen, is this your third cell phone of the day?
Callen: I'm keeping receipts.
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