My Favorite Quotes - The Expendables 1-2

1

Trench: [to Barney] Hey, why don't we have dinner?
Barney Ross: Sure. When?
Trench: In a thousand years?
Barney Ross: Too soon.


Barney Ross: Come on. Why don't you man up? Jesus! She wasn't your type.
Lee Christmas: Why don't you keep saying "She wasn't my type?" So I could put a bullet in your bleak brain! Look who I'm taking to. Dracula's life coach. No wonder you're alone.


Sandra: What are your names?
Lee Christmas: [points to himself] Buda... [points to Barney] ... Pest
Sandra: Follow me, please.
[walks away]
Barney Ross: [slowly turns to Lee; deadpan] Buda and Pest? Nice.


Paine: The guy thinks he's a real badass.
Gunnar Jensen: Actually, I'm a horror show.
The Brit: This geezer's a bloody joke.
Gunnar Jensen: Life's a joke, gum-chew


Hale Caesar: [Discussing his weapon with Toll Road] You know what? I trust you. I want you to meet my girlfriend.
[Pulls out an improvised shotgun shell]
Hale Caesar: Omya Kaboom.
[shows Toll Road a miniature warhead]
Hale Caesar: When Omya's prime is struck, she gets off a miniature warhead that arms itself. And when that happens, anything that gets in my lady's way becomes instant red sauce and Jell-O. And if that doesn't work...
[leans over and pulls out a straight razor]
Hale Caesar: ...her sister will.


Barney Ross: [Lee arrives] It's Christmastime.


Lee Christmas [ to Barney]: You know it's not easy being your friend. 



2

Hector: [shoots a tired mine worker] Anybody else tired?


Pilar: Who you are?
Barney Ross: We're Americans.
Lee Christmas: Since when?
Gunner Jensen: Swedish.
Hale Caesar: Blackfoot.
Maggie: Chinese.
Toll Road: Retards.
Barney Ross: [to Toll Road] You done?


Barney Ross: I got an idea. And your ego, I think you're gonna love it.
Lee Christmas: My ego?
Barney Ross: Your ego.
Lee Christmas: What do you mean, my ego?
Barney Ross: You've got a big ego.
Lee Christmas: Well, check your ego out.
Barney Ross: Oh, please. Your ego is like the size of a dinosaur. Huge.


Barney Ross: Rest in pieces.


Gunner Jensen: I got a plan. Everybody calm down. Phosphate rock.
Lee Christmas: What's he doing?
Barney Ross: Probably making a bomb.
Lee Christmas: You serious?
Barney Ross: Ask him.
Lee Christmas: What you doing, Gunner?
Gunner Jensen: I'm making a bomb. You mind?
Barney Ross: A maniac with brains.
Lee Christmas: Scary.


Trench: I'll be back.
Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back.
[leaves]
Trench: Yippee-ki-yay.



Trench: [Church pulls up in a SmartCar] My shoe is bigger than this car.
Church: Shoot something!


Vilain: Ironic. Here we are, you and I. And your knife. You're going to die. Like him. What his name? What did you call him? What does it matter?
(...)
Barney Ross: Get up, Vilain. Get up. Now turn around. Turn around, sheep.
Vilain: Now what?
[Barney throws the chain around Vilain's neck, pulls him toward his knife and stabs it into Vilain's stomach]
Barney Ross: His name was Billy. 


Barney Ross: [seeing their new plane] That thing belongs in a museum.
Trench: We all do.


Lee Christmas: From one friend to another...
Barney Ross: What?
Lee Christmas: You really need to learn how to fight.